Worryingly, whilst George Bush lay face down smashed out of his brains with a tube up his arse today, Dick Cheney became the leader of the free world. Fortunately prior to Bush being sedated, he told Dick to keep his trigger happy fingers off the big red button - 'that's my job,' said George.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6909160.stm
